Pain
So there are many items around my empty house that is causing me pain at this time.
Tennis Racquet – Every time I look at it I think of what a wonderful play partner that I have lost.
Toys – Having to pick them up around the house, knowing that my boys are not going to be able to play with them for a month while they are with Mom and JJ.
Christmas Tree – Only because I would love to be spending time with the family right now and helping JJ and wife at a time like this.
Snow – Only because the boys are not going to be able to play in it.
iPhone – Every time I open my call favorites Ted is at #3, and I just can’t delete it yet.
House – Knowing that I am going to be here for two weeks by myself.
So overall I am still numb to the idea that Ted is gone. I still have my moments like when I look at the photos in iPhoto today, or when I heard a Phillips Craig and Dean song on my iPod. It is soooo surreal its unbelievable. And praying so hard for my wife while I am away from her.
Then there is my flip side; my personal celebration. I am so happy for Ted right now. Just knowing that there is no time to pass before he feels the overwhelming joy of Jesus by his side. In some ways I would love to be at that state, but I am here to do God’s work and thats what I plan on doing. I am thankful for the peacefulness that God has brought me at this time of my life. Losing my two spiritual leaders is a very hard thing to do, and as many people have told me, its time for me to step up now. I pray that I start a new wonderful journey of my life and explore the Bible in unmentionable ways. For the Bible contains all the mysteries of life.
Ted, you have started incredible journeys in great number of people including me.